give and take

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.. assalamualaikum, di subuh yg hening ni terjaga kol 5.50 a.m. mb sbb da biasa bgn n otak tros berfungsi tok siapkan anak2 ke sekolah. pg ni bgn pon pk nak buat sarapan ape, tp bile dgr suara abah mengaji, ok back to reality i am currently HOME. ahhh... it feels so good to be in this bed. but it cost me not able to look at the kids morning face. bgn dgn mata terpisat2. mintak air, nak kencing la, tolong bkk kan lampu la, nak mntk bwk bekal la bagai. yes, currently, i really miss them. may ALLAH protect them. insyaALLAH.

si botak2. haha. how can i not miss them?

setiap pagi mandikan, suapkan mkn, semoga jadi anak yg soleh. insyaALLAH.

the saying give and take is really applicable in almost every single thing we do. don't u agree with me? haha.

the same feeling when i think about myself getting married. i can never babysit them like i did this week. nak jumpe pon mestila ,akin susah. masing2 dah dengan kehidupan masing2. the same goes to my parents. of course ler pemimpin sy akn benarkan balik melawat. tp mungkin x sekerap time bujang ni. hujung minggu balik.

that's why every step we take may lead to something new. so, aku nasihatkan pada kawan2 sume, before amik keputusan tok kahwin, sila fikir masak2. it really is a very big decision to be made. insyaALLAH, lepas kahwin akan menikmati satu lg fasa kehidupan, tp kite akan kehilangan nikmat berkasih sayang dgn ibu and abah. to all the boys jgn lupe tanggungjawab akan berterusan samapai dah lepas kahwin. to all the girls tanggungjawab akan lebih utama kepada suami. sbb tu la rase sayu je hati ni bile kenangkan diri ni dah nak meninggalkan ibu and abah. n berkhidmat tok parents si suami plak. sbb tula selagi aku sebelum kahwin ni aku try as much as possible berkhidmat tok ibu and abah. tp still, xleh nak lawan jasa ibu and abah terhadap aku nih. sigh. =(

jadi kawan2, selagi ibu and abah tu masih boleh nak panggil2 kite, kite masih berpeluang tok melihat wajah mereka, and dengar suara mereka, sila lah embrace the moment. sbb satu hari nnt, either mereka tinggalkan kite, kite pon mungkin akan meninggalkan mereka. kurangkanlah memberatkan sesuatu yg lagha seperti facebook, twitter, korea, game, and bla3. jgn biarkan ibu and abah pggl smpai nak terkeluar anak tekak br nak dtg. kalau boleh, jgn la dibiarkan kudrat senja tu buat mcm2 kerja lg, pastu tgk je. sepatutnye, kte org muda ni volunteer! mcm ibu selalu ckp jgk lah..."buat baik dgn semua org. jgn berkira, sbb balasan tu milik ALLAH..." experience must have thought them well, so xyah la resist tok ikut.

now, back to normal. kinah gi siapkan jahitan lahhhhh! haha. k la. tata. =D

as busy as a bee

pagi ni terjaga lmbt. duh! tu pon nasib baik abg  aku call tok kejutkan.haha. kalau x, silap2 xsekolah la budak2 ni. haha. 6.30 bgn tros masak air. kejutkan ifah n nadia suruh mandi cozz pakcik van tu akn dtg at 7. semalam janji dgn nadia tok masak nasi goreng terpaksaa aku mungkiri. tp daa explain n mnyk maaf la. kesian gak. sbb dr semalam die ckp nk bwk bekal. mb esok. insyaAllah. to the kids, we really do need to explain every single thing yg kte buat. kalau bende tu salah, btau kenapa xboleh buat. n if kite sendiri yg buat salah xleh nk tggikan ego tu tok tidak meminta maaf sbb they're learning. sume bende yg die nmpk kat sekeliling diorg.

nasib baik ade pisang. so aku buatkan cekodok pisang. n die bwk bekal tu je. huhu.

kenapa boleh bgn lmbt? haaaa.... ni satu hal, last nite lepas da suap qayum n daniel, si qayum yg demam tu muntah plak. mb perot die da masuk angin. demam xde selera nk mkn. siang mkn roti je. aku nk suap siang tu mati2 xnak mkn. siap sggp merajuk n tdo. mntk gorengkan nugget bile da goreng xmkn plak. sabar2. dah tu terpaksa la plak basuh muntah tu. kalau parents diorg ni ade xpe jgk. tp sbb 22 xde. i am their father n mother. daniel da kenyang tros tdo pas maghrib. qayyum pas aku bg ubat pon tros tdo. xpela tdo smpai pg. si daniel ni bgn plak kol 9. dah tros xtdo2 smpai kol 3 lebih. ajak aku main. aku plak da xlarat sbb x tdo siang smpai tertido2 teman die. xleh nak tdo jgk sbb diorg ni jenis tdo kene ade kipas. n aku mcm freezing. duh! so, sbb tu la bgn lmbt. haha. alasan2. :p

so aku tetibe wonder betapa besarnya pengorbanan my mum. jg n besarkan kitorg 10 adk beradik. xpenah lupe bwkkan kitorg bekal ke sekolah. xpenah nak buang2 masa mcm aku sekarang ni. sibuk kemas rumah, bercucuk tanam, dulu time aku sekolah ibu tanam jagung n ubi. sbb dulu kan dok berek polis. ade la tanah terbiar tu selamat ibu kerjakan. "asalkan kite rajin, x malas, kite xkan pernah rugi..." tu la ape yg ibu selalu ckp kat kitorg. tp....ok, aku x berapa nak mengamalkannya. tp aku cuba. insyaALLAH. berusahalah! my mom is really TERBAIK! =)

pg td pon tgh sibuk2 encik tunang tepon, dah kene marah. haha. maaf2. :p

sbb tu la, sekarang aku faham dlm rumah tangga isteri kene faham kesibukan n kepenatan suami. tp dlm pada masa yg sama, suami xboleh harap isteri dpt buat segala2nya dlm rumah tu sendiri. especially bile dah ade ank. aku tgk abg2 aku sume, alhamdulillah. both kene memainkan peranan. tugas mendidik anak2 tu terletak di kedua2 belah pihak. pada zaman sekarang ni, nak menyediakan keperluan fizikal x sesukar nak mendidik mental anak2, mengajar tentang agama.

tp pape pon, aku sgt suggest tok mengajar ank bende2 yg betol, kite kene la memperbetolkan diri kite sendiri dulu. kalau nak suruh diorg solat awal, kite pon kene tunjuk contoh solat awal, nak suruh anak2 tutup aurat, kite pon kene lah menutup aurat dgn betol. aku xckp pasal sesape pon. i was telling myself about it. sbb aku sedar tu sume kesilapan yg aku kdg2 buat. nak berubah tu senang, tp nak istiqamah dgn sesuatu perubahan tu bukanlah sesuatu yg mudah. oleh itu, kenapa tggu? mari mula sekarang dan belajarlah untuk istiqamah. insyaALLAH. =)

towards sakinah mawaddah warahmah. insyaALLAH. =D

6 month to go!!!

this holiday might be my last holiday with my beloved family. i mean, yela sebulan sepanjang2 cuti dok umah. aku rase da kawen sok, kene teman encik suami je la kot. haha. xtau la it is somthing to be happy about or sad about. haih. so, sume member2 kelas da start dgn FYP. termasuk lah member last minute aku kak bar. huh! xmengenang budi! bagai kacang lupekan kulit! *drama2*

so, actually, bukannye aku xnak start cari tajuk tok FYP tu, tp sbb tula. sbb, err, sebab...nnt la, pk lu jap. haha.

so, aku kire2, total adela sebulan full aku dok kat melaka ni menjaga anak2 yg sedang membesar. i was left alone with 5 kids. the eldest is 13 years old and the youngest is about 2-3 maybe? HAH! i was totally like in a training of being a mother. konon! jauh lg la kan. tp ok la, even penat gak la, bgn pg buat sarapan diorg gi sekolah, msk lunch, suap mkn, kemas umah, sidai kain, and bla3, tp aku still ade mase tok online, tgk tv. ku rase, kalau aku jd suri rumah nnt, aku sebenarnye byk masa tok melakukan aktiviti2 yg berfaedah. hurm. pk2 jap. tp kalau keje x la kot. last nite one of my nephew demam plak, muntah2. kesian. even terpaksa bgn kol 2.30 pg, aku sabarkan juga. pergh! penyabar gak aku ni rupe nye. :p

last weekend, my fiancee gi kursus kahwin and he was so very excited. setiap kali die balik i will ask and he will tell me what he learn from the course. ok la, hujung2 tu ade gak la gaduh2 manja sket. haha. and starting from that very day, beriya2 die suruh aku plak pergi cepat2. haha. insyaALLAH. sabar ye. betol gak, kalau dikirakan, tggl 6 month je lg pon yg tggl. bkn byk sgt masa tok aku bazirkan since persiapan aku still boleh dikatakan 0%. haih. tula, selalu bertangguh. duh!

tp ape yg aku perasan perubahan encik tunang lepas gi kursus tu, he's becoming a husband that i am dreaming of, even not totally but closer to it. lebih memimpin. i like it. peoples change. may me, myself ponnnn. haha. insyaALLAH.

selamat hari raya. =D

oh my abah

Ehem2. Lame dah xmeneruskan blogging activity ni. Keinginam tu ada, tp kesempatan tu yg payah smet nak caro. Hihu. So last tuesday, hp aku yg da lama berjasa punah juga. Sob3 lama xlama jgk la. Dlm 2 thn stgh ada kot. Tp sbb pakai duit sendiro twrasa jgk la. Tp aku ada la spare another hp. Walaupun hp lg 1 tu pon da kokak la jgk, tp boleh la nak pakai. Tp da tentu la 1 no aku da xpakai sbb hp tggl 1. Habis nangis la scandal aku yg laen. Poyo je. Yg 1 pon xterjaga. Miahaha.

Nak dijadikan cerita abah sayu kot tgk, aku da ckp byk kali xpayah, tp abah atas dasar kasih sayangnya kat aku pon belikan aku another hp sebijik mcm adik aku. I was thinking about wonder. Tp abah da belikan yg mini pon da ok sgt dah. Free kot. Sape nak bg? Terima kasih abah. At least l kwn2 aku xleh da la nak gelakkan aku xde wifi la viber la and segala jadah nye. Haha. Bangga jap.

Persetankan segala apa yg org lain nak ckp. Tp aku tetap berbangga dgn pemberian ayahanda ku ini. I love u daddy. :)

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exam mode?

okay, its been long since the last update. actually i do have so many things that i really think that i would and want to share. its just....i am have what so called mim alif lam sin = rajin punye penyakit. hahaha. ok, my mom used to say that kata2 tu 1 doa, so please do pray good things.

berkaitan dgn itu, i am still in my exam week. yeah, U lain sume da habis. ok, congrats! haha. my friend and i still struggling for our paper. but actually xbape nak struggle sgt la coz i've been watching 49 days since last nite and half day of today.

the story quite slow, but the story line is different from other typical korean drama. so, ok la. acceptable la for a person yg bkn kaki korea. haha.

moral of the story yg i dpt from this drama, mcm we never know how much time left for us to be with our family, friends and lovers. just use the time wisely but in the way of still enjoying it. tp me myself yg x mempraktik kan bende tu. yes, its easier said than done. tp since when kan? since when do i need to behave like this. HE has promise us with so many good things if and only if we spend our time wisely. but still most of us terpesong. yes, including me. lol! haha.

this evening, when i was sitting alone, by myself, my mind keep on thinking of the past. korg penah x? ke penyakit aku sorg je? haih. i used to be very bad. bad in the sense of BAD. boleh dikatakan sume jenayah kanak2, remaja, sume aku buat dulu. but things change. i am trying to be better. and i use term trying coz, proses tok menjadi seseorg yg lebih baik tu xkan pernah tamat. sebab, berubah itu adalah sifat manusia. kekal itu adalah sifatNYA sahaja oke. 

i can still remember how other people used to look at me. all i can do is pray to ALLAH that sume org yg pernah teraniaya disebabkan aku, dgn serendah2 hati nya, i am sorry...