D. I. Y.

Assalamualaikum and hi!

So, now that i'm a mother of a cute little son of ours.

I have one problem ever since I am small, I don't like to spend my money on things that I think not worth it.

How do you define not worth it?

Case 1: Bantal.
Now that Umar is 7 and half months old. He seems to follow the father so much. He sleep like daddy, he loves to look and play with daddy, but he will find me when he's tired and wanted to sleep. I wish I can just ask him to go 'nenen' at your daddy. haha! Here's the thing. The father, he's willing to give the son like almost everything. provide him with the best that he could, but not this one thing. The bolster. =.= Umar pon now started to wanting his daddy's bolster. sometimes its funny to see both of them sharing one bolster like abah will peluk half of the bolster, and the other half Umar will conquer. But sometimes, Umar took one whole bolster, leaving the daddy with none. Then you'll see the father will struggle to sleep. hahaha! Me is not available anymore sebab i'm feeding Umar. hehe. So, in this case pon, i feel like its not worth it to buy as making your own bolster is super easy!

Case 2: Cantik.
Sometimes, tipu la if I said that I don't mind wearing the same cloth for the next 2 to 3 years, or not wearing shawl lilit2 mcm gadis2 anggung nowadays. I have that desire to cantik2. Yela, I'm only 24 kot. haha! But I also have this one problem that I think and I feel like spending RM20-RM hundreds for shawl, baju kurung, baju abaya, baju blouse and etc. Sebab I know how to do it, and I know how much the actual cost to make it. So, sudahnye when my laki tanya, kina xde nak shopping ape2? I will just diam, fikir, and jawab, "entah, mcm xde ape2 je."

Case 3 : Baby wear.
The baby. He is a little creatures yg Allah cipta, kurniakan pada aku and suami. hehe. After having a baby, I realize that he needs even more clothes than we do. They need to change frequently sebab kejap2 kotor kena mcm2. haha! So, last syawal, aku baru tau yg jahit seluar budak is super duper easy, then google some more, buat t-shirt diorang from baju2 lama the parents is also eaaaaaaasssyyyyyy. So, then here again, I feel like its not worth it to buy new while I can do it myself. =.=

Me is having a real problem here.

Dear husband, this is me writing my proposal for a new Brother 3034D Overlock machine,

Pleaseeeee....

TQ! 
:p

P/S: Me and my husband, we work well that way. We don't simply just buy things. The different is, to him, kalau setakat bende murah2 less that hundreds he's ok and will just buy it for me. But the problem is, the wife, always wanted to buy bende yg thousands and xpandang sgt pon bende yg less that hundreds ni. lol! haha! But, aku request xdela pelik2 and xmendatangkan faedah. I ask for something yg mcm mesin jahit. Benda2 yg macam tu. faham ke maksud aku? haha! so, writing this post for my husband to read. Sebab, he ask for a complete proposal every time I requested something BIG. hehe. pastu, aku pulak xreti nak cakap mulut. kene lah tulis. hehe.

Idaman.

Nikah Kahwin

Assalamualaikum,

Jadi atas dasar nak mengekalkan kesinambungan cerita terakhir kita yg dah berkulat, yes I finnaly kahwin dgn jayanya and alhamdulillah, kami dikurniakan seorang baby boy. yeeeaaahhh! (dah beranak dah baru nak tgk blog balik?

LOL

So, nak pendekkan cerita and utk merangkumkan semua cerita perkahwinan kami, i attached this one video for you to have a peek on our wedding yg to me berjalan just perfect, just the way i wanted it to be. Simple, but still fulfill my childhood dream. But still, if ade yg rase terkurang, on behalf of everybody we apologize for any flaws. :(

And ultimate appreciation and thanks to uolllsssss yg tolong, yg dtg, semua2 la yg terlibat secara langsung n xlangsung. Alhamdulillah its a success!

And of course, alhamdulillah, terima kasih Allah sebab mendengar doa hamba mu yg hina ni. Actually, few days before, kami risau jugak la sbb time tu musim hujan xhabes lg. Tp tu la, Allah maha kuasa, kita niat baik, ikhlas, Allah bg rezeki, time kenduri tu terang, betul2 jam 5 baru hujanmlebat pon alhamdulillah sebab senang for us nak rendam periuk belanga. hehe. and subhanallah lg, hujan lebat tu pon sekejap je mcm agak2 air yg turun tu dah cukup nak buat rendam ape yg patt, then tros mcm renyai2 then stop tros boleh sapu2 laman afterwards. :)

and yes, back to square one, niat buat kenduri ikhlas nak menjamu, nak sedekah nak sama2 meraikan. benda2 lain semua kami buat simple2 je. kad kahwin pon murah2 je sebab terus masuk tong sampah kan... haha. but dr segi makanan mmg abah bg all out. So far, sepanjang abah buat kenduri xde lg org pnh complain about food sbb abah punye style abah selalu ckp for food, jgn berkira sbb org makan, xmembazir. :)

I love you abah!

And alhamdulillah makanan yg bajet for 1.5k org habis and just cukup2 and just nice je tinggal lg sikit for our family lepas kenduri (yela, semua dah penat mana larat nak masak lg for dinner kan? ) so, xde pembaziran.

Fuuuhhhh... dah, cerita pasal time awal2 kawen pulak dah xpasal2 aku fefeeling pengantin baru. Pose2 ni....

Istighfar... haha!

XOXO! Will write again, next time~

after it ends and before it started

assalamualaikum... wee!! alhamdulillah, my final exam is now over, so there's a lot of things coming. new challenges. so, insyaALLAH, before balik Johor jap lg, br la teringat, lama jgk x menaip. so menggatal jap. bukak blog sendiri, scroll down....down....tetibe termenjerit! AAAAAAAAA!!! ya ALLAH! pastu, atie tanye, tros ckp, eh..xde pape...xde pape... heheh. malu tetibe. terkejut, n tertakut, and terberdebar secara tiba2.

nmpk x??? 

aku selalu cam xkire, d last time aku kire ade 15 hari, so sbb kira hari...15, mcm byk je nombornye, mcm lama lg je lg. so, mcm rilek je lg. haha. tetibe td, bile tgk tggl 1 week and 4 days.... i was like mcm... sikit nye, 1, and 4....tros, dup..dap...dup...dap... haha. masa dah time! short time, time da tggl sikit. masa dah pendek. ha! amek kau. ape lg boleh nak terkeluar. haha

hurm, so far...persiapan, aku xpasti lg ape yg sebenarnye belom siap n ape lg yg aku belom buat sbb basically;

• borang nikah kahwin- DONE
• mak andam- DONE
• pelamin- DONE
• baju- ALMOST (still in da making)
• kamar pengantin- DONE (recycle from my sister)
• kenduri (makan, minum)- abah settle kan
• goodies- kakak dah belikan tggl packing which might be done time rewang nnt
• kasut princess- DONE
• barang2 hantaran- DONE

dah, tu je yg aku mampu pk. aku xtau lg ape yg perlu disiapkan. aku rasa tu je la yg perlu aku rasa, hurm. so, balik ni, aku telah ditugaskan utk mengemas rumah sebelum semua org balik, sebelum rewang bermula, tlg abah kemas bangsal tok masak2 kat belakang rumah, tmn abah survey lembu. haaa! lembu pon sekarang tgh menjadi 1 permasalahan besar. LEMBU XJUMPE LG!!!!

basically, lembu mmg la banyak, tp abah ada criteria die yg perlu dipenuhi..sbb tu la mcm ssh sket tu. hurm. 

so, kirenye, aku balik ni, aku akan berda dalam proses intermission, ala, mcm hindustan selalu tu...

so, basically aku lah heroin. hew3! so, tiada istilah rehat tok aku cuti ni sbb byk sgt berderet3. and actually, sume event yg sgt besar! the first one of course my nikah, then pas nikah i will need to bring my husband to meet the elders, and he will bring me to meet his elders. time tu journey jauh jgk la. habiskan yg di johor, pastu kene proceed ke kl, pastu back to puncak kejap tok kutip the rest of my belongings, kelantann, few places in pahang, then br blk ke rumah bakal suami ku di kuantan. hohoho! then i have about 1 week. seminggu tok buat segal persiapan yg berbaki tok kenduri di kuantan pulak. so, aku xtau bile br aku boleh proceed tok my final year project. hurm. belom cite honeymoon lg. ohoi! :p

so, kawan2. marilah bersama2 doakan kesejahteraan aku and encik tunang sekeluarga..semoga semua urusan kami dipermudahkan. semoga semua bejalan lancar. insyaALLAH. :)

ok, u can...i can't! :O

bukan senang nak senang. sigh~~~

hahaha. aku rasa aku lah pengantin yg sgt rilex di abad ini. cewah! xla jgk sbnrnya. sementara aku dihujani dgn kemalasan tok berjuan dlm peperiksaan, ahli family lain sume tgh bertungkus lumus utk menyiapkan apa yg ptt tok majlis pernikahan aku nnt dr pelamin, unga telur, hantaran, goodies n etc. tetibe rasa malu pulop. hoho!

the community....sume sibuk berbincang ttg my wed...task n PIC lg! hohoho...rasa bertuah sgt having them by my side. :D

my eldest sister da siap buatkan jadual pulak. adik beradik yg ni nak kene buat ape, siap ada kumpulan lg. haha. tugas dibahagikan dgn seadil mungkin mengikut keadaan masing2. hurm. scroll down....down lg....tetibe da end of page! eh? nama aku xde?? so br nak click reply, br teringat, owh...ok, aku raja sehari time tu. cettt! teringat zaman2 kakak2 aku kahwin dulu. aku la haiiiii yg sibuk ke sana sini. sekarang giliran aku mcm xbiasa pulak. berdebar tetibe. ohoi!!!

sedar xsedar, sekarang mmg tggl dlm 29 hari lg sebelum majlis. dup dap dup dap...bila fikir je berdebar...yela, bukan setiap tahun kahwin. :p

tp sebelum tu, aku terpaksa berhadapan dgn pen n paper...bertungkus lumus tok my final sem punya examination. so, bila da start berangan jd Cinderella je....bila pk pasal dewan exam tros teeetttttt....layu mcm sayur rebus. hoho!

semakin nak dekat ni jgk la hai, hati ni mcm2 rasa. syaitan menghasut jgn buat benda baik. rasa sangsi lah, xyakin lah, xsedia lah, sume3 ada. hurm... so, lately ni pon kitorg jgk berkomunikasi mcm selalu. sbb both sibuk dgn komitmen masing2. aku paksa rela belajar, die sibuk dgn keje kat office, uruskan parents die (since he's the only child), nak pindah rumah, uruskan project homestay lg. aku call je, busy...hurm... mungkin mcm ni kot dah kahwin nnt. tu la yg terlintas dlm kepala otak aku ni haaaa...xde masa nak asyik2  i love u...u love me....yg utama sekali adalah tanggungjawab. so, maybe ni adalah sedikit training tok diri aku...tanggungjawab!

aku ni adalah satu jenis manusia yg sgt cpt melayang. xleh nak fokus lama. haha. so, sekarang aku tgh jalani training yg coach nye adalah encik tunang... he ask me to take control over my body. use my head first instead of my heart. yela, sbb aku ni sgt lah hai selalu act before think. so, i hurt people most of the time when i open my mouth. bila da kuar segala mcm tu br la rasa serba salah....duh! so, yes, bukan senang. sbb once something tu dah jd habit, bkn senang nak buang kan...dah habit asyik berkepit, call n sms...so, bila xde sume tu jd mcm lost. mula la rasa terabai la, die da x sayang aku la, ape la. wadafakkkkk? tp x senang bukan lah mustahil. so, i just need to put more effort on it. i need to force my body to do things that is right for me. berusahalah! :D

Dalam surat Alam Nasyroh, Allah Ta’ala berfirman,

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

“Karena sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.” (QS. Alam Nasyroh: 5)

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

“Sesungguhnya sesudah kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.” (QS. Alam Nasyroh: 6)

lets make a change! a better change. :D

INSYAALLAH.
:D

an end

sometimes, i wonder how perfect is perfect?

sometimes, i wonder, how great is great?

sometimes, i wonder, how strong is strong?

sometimes i wonder, how smart is smart?

sometimes i wonder, how brave is brave?

but now, i can finally understand the true meaning of it relies on the person who is judging it. we were created to be different from others. different by means physically and mentally (the way we think of something). it is totally subjective! we are the one who sets the benchmark of how _____ is _____. so, if that person is unable to meet your criterion, don't hate them coz you too might be hated by somebody eases somewhere in this world due to your inadequacy in filling in that somebody's standard.

be yourself

it is a very famous phrase. very famous until it turns out to be easier said than done. simple sentence with a lot of meaningful thought inside of it. have u ever be in my situation when u adore somebody, u tends to follow what are they wearing, what are they doing, how they walk, and etc... and at some point u are tired of trying to be that person because you really are not that person! deep down inside yourself there must be the real YOU. in my case, i am still searching and looking for ME. :)

i hate myself for being helpless

i hate myself for being hopeless

i hate myself for being weak

honestly, i am so very tired of the feeling of getting that kinda look mcm, ok, you can't do anything, you just follow what I ask you to be. it's so very tiring. the acting. hopefully, that one fine day i can stand on my two feet without anybody's help, without having anybody asking me to do what is right for them and totally wrong for me. i am still waiting for that one fine day to come.

i can totally live my life happily before you came, and should i change that after you're here? i am done with the tries to impress you. i am now doing things because i wanted to do it. because i love it. no more because of you.

PMS

so, last night was tough! when i said tough, it means full with emotions. mcm biasa lah. last weekend blk kampung. dah HUHAHUHA segala dgn my nieces and nephews, bile balik puncak alam, KREK KREK...mcm senyap gile n kedengaran cuma bunyi2 cengkerik. so, the process to adapt with the so called 'new' environment is hard for me sbb, yela, makin nak kawen ni, makin la berat hati tok melakukan segala2 yg berkaitan meninggalkan family. especially bila br blk dr sana. belum blk tu, rasa ok je lg. macho je. da blk rumah, n pastu nak keluar, MASYAALLAH! mcm kene angkut batu berpuluh2 kilo atas bahu ni haaaa!

so, i was tired. very2 tired. alhamdulillah, still manage tok finish up my second last assignment. ada lg 1. hehe. BERUSAHALAH! :D study la jgk sikit2 for today's test, and also ALHAMDULILLAH. berkat doa ibu jugak rasanya...ALLAH permudahkan urusan. tp, mcm biasalah. bila2 time PMS ni, mixed emotion punye phase tu pon tibaaaaa...jeng3! even the slightest mistakes can lead to sadness, madness, and every other -ess! and of course, basically the one yg akan terkena tempias time kat rumah JOHOR is my parents. bila aku rasa terabai je, i mean, kdg2 bila abah keluar xajak pon teros nak merajuk. xnak ckp n xnak makan la, buat kerja xberhenti la, and segala mcm cara yg aku biasa buat tok menunjukkan tanda protes aku lah! (reminder: tp never go too far sampai kurang ajar ok!) tp alhamdulillah, abah sgt lah caring and understanding anak dara die yg seorg ni. balik tu mesti abah akan belikan something yg aku suka mkn, mcm putu bambu kat kedai feberet, or rojak buah yg boleh buat aku meleleh air liur ke, gorengkan aku telur mata dgn kuning cair ke..teros ok! hehehe. i miss my abah so very much. selama bertahun2 melayan kerenah aku tanpa pernah mengeluh even sekali. xpernah merasa diri tu terbeban sebagai seorang mangsa keadaan. sbb itu adalah fitrah seorang perempuan. beruntunglah sesiapa yg dpt mencari seorg suami seperti abah. :)

so, PMS or pre-menstrual syndrome is commonly happens before the girls period. kalau korg google, jumpe la mcm2 facts about it. so, biasanya start during the second half menstrual cycle. and FYI, menstrual cycle tu different for different people. standard 28 days, tp ada jgk la yg 30, 35 and bla3. so, if menstrual cycle cth la 28 hari, PMS ni akan start pd hari ke-14 selepas first day period. and semakin dekat dgn tarikh nak period tu, semakin lah menjadi2. hoho! and, PMS ni akan stop biasanya 1 ke 2 hari selepas period. physical changes yg biasa jd adalah, perut rasa bloated and penuh angin, pastu breast rasa tegang, pastu kdg2 sembelit, kadang2 cirit birit, pastu mula la rasa nak makan mcm2, and pastu kepala sakit berdenyut2 sbb akn sgt ssh nak tolerate noises and light.

besides that, the girls yg tgh melalui PMS ni akan cepat confuse, ssh nak fokus, cpt lupa, selalu kepenatan, pastu rasa bdn pon lembab je. pastu emosi selalu terganggu dgn rasa sedih, rasa sgt keseorangan, rasa hopeless, cpt tension and bla3... penat plak nak rephrase segala ayat dr  web ni. so, allow me to copy and paste eh. hehehe.

The most common physical symptoms include:

• bloating and feeling gaseous 
• breast tenderness
• Clumsiness
• constipation or diarrhea 
• Food cravings
• headache 
• Less tolerance for noises and lights

Other symptoms include:

• Confusion, difficulty concentrating, or forgetfulness
• fatigue and feeling slow or sluggish
• Feelings of sadness or hopelessness
• Feelings of tension, anxiety, or edginess
• Irritable, hostile, or aggressive behavior, with outbursts of anger toward self or others
• Loss of sex drive (may be increased in some women)
• Mood swings
• Poor judgment
• Poor self-image, feelings of guilt, or increased fears
• Sleep problems (sleeping too much or too little)

pastu bile aku scroll2 kat google pasal PMS, ada la mcm2 gambar lawak yg menyatakan kebenaran PMS nih. hoho! so, thanks to mr. google for these images: 

so very me. hahaha

me too? hahaha

this is how it feels like. :(

and this is what i wish for if i met a guy that refuse to understand my situation. hoho!

so, to me the conclusion is being both male and female is not that hard. both gender ALLAH dah kurniakan dgn kelebihan and kekurangan masing2. kadang2, ada org ckp senang jd perempuan sbb senang nak masuk syurga, taat perintah ALLAH, taat suami, hotmat kedua ibu bapa tp dengan adanya kurniaan ALLAH seperti PMS ni, bukan senang nak buat semua tu, especially tang nak taat suami tu bila dah kahwin nnt. tp, ada jugak perempuan yg ckp senang la jd lelaki, xyah tanggung PMS, xyah tanggung penat mengandung and sakit bersalin, xyah sibuk2 nak kene jg nak, kemas rumah n bla3. tp dlm pada masa yg sama, dgn segala kelebihan yg ALLAH kurniakan pada kaum lelaki, terselit juga tanggungjawab tersendiri yg perlu mereka galas, mcm cr nafkah tok keluarga. sbb itu lah both male and female kena faham keadaan masing2. kalau tidak, mmg meletus lah perang dunia ke-3! hahaha. 

semua kesenangan and kesusahan di dunia ini adalah satu ujian. kita lah yg perlu decide tok terus berjuang ataupun menyerah kalah. 

:)

i miss them, so badly.

alhamdulillah, i had a so very great weekend. thanks to my beloved lecturer (ceh! br la beloved kannnnn... :P) sbb tukar jadual kami and finally membuatkan kitorg free on Thursday and Friday. yeay! so, i decided to go back to my hometown. ahhhhhh... i feel at ease. alhamdulillah. tgk je kereta abah drp dalam bas my hearts pounding. berdebar2. mcm jumpa kekasih yg dah lama terpisah. jumpe encik tunang pon x mcm ni! haha. how i miss my daddy. bukak pintu kete. tgk je seraut wajah yg dirindui tu, aku rasa mcm segala beban dalam kepala otak aku ni hilang! terus ketenangna tu dtg menerpa. subhanallah.

dihalaman rumah, aku terpandang pokok limau bali yg abah tanam tepi parit.
"eh, abah, limau bali tu dah masak ke?" aku tanye sbb limau tu dah xde kat pokok.
"xla...xmerasa pon...dah kene amek dgn org. ade org berkenan." dad answer.
"hish! apela. org punye la tggu nak makan. senang2 je die amek. da la xnak berusaha ke ape, tau curi je. pisang pon sama, petai pon sama. hisyyyyy!!!!" aku marah2, membebel sorg2.
"xpela, mungkin mmg bukan rezeki kita, anggap jela sedekah. insyaALLAH ALLAH akan balas dgn yg lain..." -abah-

gulp!malu!

sungguh tenang sekali. aku yg xmerasa susah nya menanam, menyiram, membaja pulak yg bising2. yg menusahakannya rileks je. hurm.

turun kereta, alhamdulillah. nampak sesuatu yg telah membuahkan hasil! pokok jagung yg aku tanam dgn ibu time nak puasa dulu dah berbuah. abah kata dah boleh petik n rebus. tp aku x sempat nak tgk lama2 sgt sbb tros lari gi kat ibu. hilang teros rasa marah sbb hilang limau bali. hahaha.

pokok2 jagung kami kat depan umah. :)

alhamdulillah. ALLAH masih bg nikmat. manis betol. paling manis yg penah aku makan lah! ibu ckp maybe sbb lepas petik tros rebus n makan. masih segar. 

keesokan harinya jumaat. aku ajak abah gi pejabat agama sbb aku nak amek borang tok bernikah. abah hantarkan and ibu pon ikut jgk, selama ni bukan main payah lg nak ikut gi mana2. semenjak duduk ber2 kat rumah ni, romantiknya lain mcm je parents aku ni. hahaha. so sweet!

bayar RM5 and dapatlah borang tu. isi tok HIV, pastu tros gi klinik. wat test HIV sume2.

eksaited terlebih ke ape? awal giler isi borang. hahaha.

pastu kitorg gi pulak la ke kedai, cari cadar tok hari bahagia ku nnt. pastu beli kain tok kenduri. pastu balik. hahaha! sepanjang cuti ni jgk aku sempat la ushar2 nak andam, pelamin and bla3. abah helps me a lot! tq abah! sayang banyak3! :D

tp dalam kesibukan tu jgk kene jgk siapkan jahitan baju bakal mentua. haih...ibu paksa. :(

tp betullah, even xcantik pon, tp da jd tanggungjawab sbb aku dah amek n sudi tok jahit ritu...ikhlas2... :p

da malam2 ni, aku mcm homesick. teringat ada air nenas yg ibu bekalkan dalam peti ais. tiba2 menitis air mata. i miss u ibu, abah. :(

air nenas dalam botol. yummy! the only bekal yg tggl. :(

semakin mendekati tarikh, semakin aku rasa berkecamuk dalam diri nih. seriously, rasa excited tu xdapat lgsg mengalahkan rasa sedih utk meninggalkan tanggungjawab terhadap kedua ibu and abah sendiri and berbakti kepada suami tercinta dan ibu dan ayahnya pulak. tp mcm biasalah, semakin kita nak menghalalkan sesuatu yg haram, semakin halus cara syaitan guna utk menggoda kita. ibu selalu pesan:

"jgn anggap berbakti kepada org tua faizal tu satu beban, ikhlaskan diri jaga mereka tu mcm kau jaga ibu n abah sendiri...insyaALLAH, benda tu xkan menjadi satu bebanan sebab ALLAH akan permudahkan..."

aminnnn...doa ibu antara doa yg dimakbulkan. seusainya majlis akad nikah nnt, ibu bapanya juga adalah ibu bapaku. tp rasa berdebar, sedih tu xdapat dinafikan langsung! jadi, aku menggunakan masa saki baki yg tggl ni tok berbakti dgn bersungguh2 utk ibu and abah. tp they too feel the same. makin dekat tarikh tu, makin mcm2 diorg nak buatkan utk aku. makin semua benda nak buat sama2 and makin sume yg aku suka cuba mereka sediakan. nak makan apa, nak beli baju ke x, aku suka nenas carikan nenas smpai seguni, rebuskan jagung, aku suka roti carikan roti, sambal, suka makan tahu belikan tahu...totally speechless. compare dgn ape yg aku dah buat tok mereka?

sebahagian nenas yg abah belikan. yummy! terima kasih abah! :)

sbb tu la...sementara ada waktu, mereka masih berada di muka bumi ni, sementara masih boleh bersama, embrace the moment. sbb 1 hari nnt, nikmat kasih sayang ni akan ALLAH tarik. samada mereka pergi tinggalkan kita, or kita pergi meninggalkan mereka (as in my case).

jadi, aku suggest, cara paling mudah tok berbakti kepada mereka even time kita jauh adalah dengan mendoakan kesejahteraan hidup mereka. marilah, berdoa. semoga ALLAH memelihara kedua ibu n abah kita xkiralah kat mana pon mereka berada. insyaALLAH. :)

jom kahwin! :D

alhamdulillah, another process before enabling us to get married is DONE. yuhuuuuuuuu! i am proud of myself! so, my fiancee da xleh da la nak eksen die sorg je yg dah ade sijil kursus kahwin. miahahahaha.

ok, ni muke eksaited. dtg awal giler. first day 7.30 da terpacak situ. kaunter pon belom bkk. so, aku pon cam whoring dulu la...miahahaha.

ni buku...diorg yg bg. amek je...da bayo. hahaha

ni mcm2 la template yg die bg. tp aku baca sekali lalu je. huhuhu... 

ada mcm2 lg yg die bg termasuklah jadual, pen, buku nota n bla3. haha. tp yg paling penting sekali, dirg bagi....sijil kursus pra perkahwinan. hahaha. :D

so, sepanjang 2 hari ni, sesungguhnya memang sumpah byk bende yg aku belajar. bukan je dr facilitator. tp drp org sekeliling. nak cerita, tp penat sgt2. n bz giler nak basuh baju bagai2. so, maybe next time. insyaALLAH. kehidupan ni masih ade side yg kite xtau. sedih. tp nnt la baru sedih2. sekarang ni tgh excited giler. senyum xleh lekang dr bibir. hehehe. 

terpaksa tutup mulut sbb nak senyum je. hahaha.

ok, aku harap and doa supaya semoga aku dan sume org yg gi kursus tu mendapat keberkatan ilmu yg dikongsikan. insyaALLAH. :)

YES3! :D

one day it will come to an end.

i was sitting alone this afternoon, right before i fell asleep. again. i woke up and perform my solah. i look out the window then i saw what a beautiful scenery. subhanALLAH! then i start to think. for how much longer will it be there. then i decide to walk around my neighborhood. so i snap a few picture maybe for my memory? haha.

at the back, construction of mosque. insyaALLAH nnt bile dtg lg dah siap! :)

this is right in front of our house. pondok usang yg menjadi tempat kami bersosial bersama2 jiran tetangga. haha!

*home sweet home*

the tasik. selalu org memancing depan ni. soon, dah xde dah rupe tasik ala2 kampung mcm ni, sume akn diubahsuai menjadi tasik bandar. 

port biasa bg kami bergurau senda. :)

close up pondok yg dah uzur. igt lg dulu2 pernah gak rewang kat sini dgn makcik2 tuh. learn from them. tq makcik! 

empty sit, waiting to be filled. 

promote skit my rumah sewa since atok dah suruh kitorg carikan pengganti. yela, this will be our last sem in puncak alam before we leave for clinical. hopefully everything's gonna be okay. insyaALLAH. :)

so rumah sewa kitorg ni terletak di Lavender Villa no 165. currently, kitorg sewa RM950. fully furnish. keselamatan tu insyaALLAH sbb sekarang pak guard dah boleh pakai. so, sape2 yg berminat, kriteria yg diperlukan mestilah pandai menghormati org tua n baik2 je. tu request drpd atok. hehe. tempat die mmg awesome! =D

bile mengenangkan nasib diri yg semakin meningkat usia, rasa takut n sedih. adat bertemu, ada berpisah. semoga ukhwah yg dibina sepanjang tempoh pembelajaran kat sini berterusan. 

i pray that ALLAH may bless us in everything that we do, give us strength, lead us towards jannah, insyaALLAH. :)

blurrrrrrrrr!

bismillahirrahmanirrahim, assalamualaikum. sekian. cett! belom2, baru nak mula. sekarang jam 9.34 a.m. pg td pas sahur tros mandi n xtdo smpai sekarang. masih mencuba untuk bgn awal tanpa bantuan sesiapa kecuali my alarm clock. tp msih belom berjaya. teria kasih atiq sbb kejut sahur. xpe, mari terus berusaha. seperti jgk my FYP. still, very blur nak buat tajuk ape pasal ape, sume xpasti. pilih2, tp pastu rasa was2. mampu ke aku buat? lepas ke tajuk ni? hebat ke tajuk ni? *bajet* :p

bgn pg tros bace journal. mcm buang tebiat? haha. yela, even the boys pon da ade tajuk. aku? haha. xpe2, calon2 tajuk dah ade. sampai tersengguk2 depan lappy. last2 tros tutup lappy, bgn pakai tudung n sweater, tros jalan2 kat luar. amek udara segar. nyaman. alhamdulillah. keindahan ciptaan ALLAH. subhanallah. segala puji bagi ALLAH. =)

manusia ni kan xkan pernah terlepas dr godaan syaitan. syaitan plak ade mcm2 jenis spesis. antaranya ade yg bertugas untuk menghasut manusia supaya ragu2. mungkin syaitan tu yg sedang mendampingi aku and kawan2 sekarang ni. haha. adakah kita mampu untuk melawan godaan itu? tepuk dada, tanya iman. ceeeewwwaaaaaaaah! tp to me, with guides from ALLAH, we need to build the strength to overcome it.

dalam dunia ni, kita xkan dapat pasti tentang sebarang pilihan yg kite buat. betol x? setuju x? korg rasa korg pernah yakin ke dgn ape yg korg pilih selama ni? kalau kite betol2 yakin dgn pilihan kite tu adalah sesuatu yg betol yg perlu kite buat, xkan lah lg timbul persoalan "kalaulahhhhh.....", "nasib baik aku....." igtlh kwn2 ye, semua pilihan, jalan yg kite pilih ni keputusannya terbahagi kepada 2 samada membuat keputusan atas niat lillhita'ala ataupun berteraskan nafsu semata2. sebab itulah guru tauhid yg aku dulu selalu ckp manusia ni selalu terlali and terleka. kdg2 pada awalnye, niat tok melakukan sesuatu tu betol, tp lame2 time dipertengahan jalan niat tu berubah sedikit demi sedikit. sebab tu la niat tu perlu sentiasa diperbaharui.  syaitan tu adalah selicik2 ciptaan. mereka akan menggunakan cara yg paling halus mulus untuk mendekati manusia.

jadi, ape yg aku nak igtkan pada diri sendiri n korg2 sume, cubelah belajar untuk sentiasa memperbetulkan niat dalam setiap perkara yg kite lakukan. and igt, bende yg paling jauh and xkan dtg balik pada kite adalah masa. so, once dah decide, time tu kite xtau lg keputusan kite tu adalah yg betol and terbaik untuk kite ataupun tidak, and mcm yg aku btau td, masa xkan kembali lg. so, yg penting adalah give ur best in it. sbb ALLAH da btau dah kat kite, bahawa xkan ade sesiapa yg dapat mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka berusaha untuk melakukan perubahan. so, itulah masa terakhir kite untuk mengubah nasib kita sendiri sebelum kite menyesal di suatu hari nnt. dgn cara, give your very best! 

jadi, peringatan kepada diri sendiri terutamanya, stop worrying about something yg kite xpasti and xtau kesudahannya, yg ape yg penting, usaha untuk lakukan yg terbaik and terus berusaha dan berdoa semoga ALLAH memberkati setiap ape yg kita lakukan. insyaALLAH.

give and take

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.. assalamualaikum, di subuh yg hening ni terjaga kol 5.50 a.m. mb sbb da biasa bgn n otak tros berfungsi tok siapkan anak2 ke sekolah. pg ni bgn pon pk nak buat sarapan ape, tp bile dgr suara abah mengaji, ok back to reality i am currently HOME. ahhh... it feels so good to be in this bed. but it cost me not able to look at the kids morning face. bgn dgn mata terpisat2. mintak air, nak kencing la, tolong bkk kan lampu la, nak mntk bwk bekal la bagai. yes, currently, i really miss them. may ALLAH protect them. insyaALLAH.

si botak2. haha. how can i not miss them?

setiap pagi mandikan, suapkan mkn, semoga jadi anak yg soleh. insyaALLAH.

the saying give and take is really applicable in almost every single thing we do. don't u agree with me? haha.

the same feeling when i think about myself getting married. i can never babysit them like i did this week. nak jumpe pon mestila ,akin susah. masing2 dah dengan kehidupan masing2. the same goes to my parents. of course ler pemimpin sy akn benarkan balik melawat. tp mungkin x sekerap time bujang ni. hujung minggu balik.

that's why every step we take may lead to something new. so, aku nasihatkan pada kawan2 sume, before amik keputusan tok kahwin, sila fikir masak2. it really is a very big decision to be made. insyaALLAH, lepas kahwin akan menikmati satu lg fasa kehidupan, tp kite akan kehilangan nikmat berkasih sayang dgn ibu and abah. to all the boys jgn lupe tanggungjawab akan berterusan samapai dah lepas kahwin. to all the girls tanggungjawab akan lebih utama kepada suami. sbb tu la rase sayu je hati ni bile kenangkan diri ni dah nak meninggalkan ibu and abah. n berkhidmat tok parents si suami plak. sbb tula selagi aku sebelum kahwin ni aku try as much as possible berkhidmat tok ibu and abah. tp still, xleh nak lawan jasa ibu and abah terhadap aku nih. sigh. =(

jadi kawan2, selagi ibu and abah tu masih boleh nak panggil2 kite, kite masih berpeluang tok melihat wajah mereka, and dengar suara mereka, sila lah embrace the moment. sbb satu hari nnt, either mereka tinggalkan kite, kite pon mungkin akan meninggalkan mereka. kurangkanlah memberatkan sesuatu yg lagha seperti facebook, twitter, korea, game, and bla3. jgn biarkan ibu and abah pggl smpai nak terkeluar anak tekak br nak dtg. kalau boleh, jgn la dibiarkan kudrat senja tu buat mcm2 kerja lg, pastu tgk je. sepatutnye, kte org muda ni volunteer! mcm ibu selalu ckp jgk lah..."buat baik dgn semua org. jgn berkira, sbb balasan tu milik ALLAH..." experience must have thought them well, so xyah la resist tok ikut.

now, back to normal. kinah gi siapkan jahitan lahhhhh! haha. k la. tata. =D

as busy as a bee

pagi ni terjaga lmbt. duh! tu pon nasib baik abg  aku call tok kejutkan.haha. kalau x, silap2 xsekolah la budak2 ni. haha. 6.30 bgn tros masak air. kejutkan ifah n nadia suruh mandi cozz pakcik van tu akn dtg at 7. semalam janji dgn nadia tok masak nasi goreng terpaksaa aku mungkiri. tp daa explain n mnyk maaf la. kesian gak. sbb dr semalam die ckp nk bwk bekal. mb esok. insyaAllah. to the kids, we really do need to explain every single thing yg kte buat. kalau bende tu salah, btau kenapa xboleh buat. n if kite sendiri yg buat salah xleh nk tggikan ego tu tok tidak meminta maaf sbb they're learning. sume bende yg die nmpk kat sekeliling diorg.

nasib baik ade pisang. so aku buatkan cekodok pisang. n die bwk bekal tu je. huhu.

kenapa boleh bgn lmbt? haaaa.... ni satu hal, last nite lepas da suap qayum n daniel, si qayum yg demam tu muntah plak. mb perot die da masuk angin. demam xde selera nk mkn. siang mkn roti je. aku nk suap siang tu mati2 xnak mkn. siap sggp merajuk n tdo. mntk gorengkan nugget bile da goreng xmkn plak. sabar2. dah tu terpaksa la plak basuh muntah tu. kalau parents diorg ni ade xpe jgk. tp sbb 22 xde. i am their father n mother. daniel da kenyang tros tdo pas maghrib. qayyum pas aku bg ubat pon tros tdo. xpela tdo smpai pg. si daniel ni bgn plak kol 9. dah tros xtdo2 smpai kol 3 lebih. ajak aku main. aku plak da xlarat sbb x tdo siang smpai tertido2 teman die. xleh nak tdo jgk sbb diorg ni jenis tdo kene ade kipas. n aku mcm freezing. duh! so, sbb tu la bgn lmbt. haha. alasan2. :p

so aku tetibe wonder betapa besarnya pengorbanan my mum. jg n besarkan kitorg 10 adk beradik. xpenah lupe bwkkan kitorg bekal ke sekolah. xpenah nak buang2 masa mcm aku sekarang ni. sibuk kemas rumah, bercucuk tanam, dulu time aku sekolah ibu tanam jagung n ubi. sbb dulu kan dok berek polis. ade la tanah terbiar tu selamat ibu kerjakan. "asalkan kite rajin, x malas, kite xkan pernah rugi..." tu la ape yg ibu selalu ckp kat kitorg. tp....ok, aku x berapa nak mengamalkannya. tp aku cuba. insyaALLAH. berusahalah! my mom is really TERBAIK! =)

pg td pon tgh sibuk2 encik tunang tepon, dah kene marah. haha. maaf2. :p

sbb tu la, sekarang aku faham dlm rumah tangga isteri kene faham kesibukan n kepenatan suami. tp dlm pada masa yg sama, suami xboleh harap isteri dpt buat segala2nya dlm rumah tu sendiri. especially bile dah ade ank. aku tgk abg2 aku sume, alhamdulillah. both kene memainkan peranan. tugas mendidik anak2 tu terletak di kedua2 belah pihak. pada zaman sekarang ni, nak menyediakan keperluan fizikal x sesukar nak mendidik mental anak2, mengajar tentang agama.

tp pape pon, aku sgt suggest tok mengajar ank bende2 yg betol, kite kene la memperbetolkan diri kite sendiri dulu. kalau nak suruh diorg solat awal, kite pon kene tunjuk contoh solat awal, nak suruh anak2 tutup aurat, kite pon kene lah menutup aurat dgn betol. aku xckp pasal sesape pon. i was telling myself about it. sbb aku sedar tu sume kesilapan yg aku kdg2 buat. nak berubah tu senang, tp nak istiqamah dgn sesuatu perubahan tu bukanlah sesuatu yg mudah. oleh itu, kenapa tggu? mari mula sekarang dan belajarlah untuk istiqamah. insyaALLAH. =)

towards sakinah mawaddah warahmah. insyaALLAH. =D

6 month to go!!!

this holiday might be my last holiday with my beloved family. i mean, yela sebulan sepanjang2 cuti dok umah. aku rase da kawen sok, kene teman encik suami je la kot. haha. xtau la it is somthing to be happy about or sad about. haih. so, sume member2 kelas da start dgn FYP. termasuk lah member last minute aku kak bar. huh! xmengenang budi! bagai kacang lupekan kulit! *drama2*

so, actually, bukannye aku xnak start cari tajuk tok FYP tu, tp sbb tula. sbb, err, sebab...nnt la, pk lu jap. haha.

so, aku kire2, total adela sebulan full aku dok kat melaka ni menjaga anak2 yg sedang membesar. i was left alone with 5 kids. the eldest is 13 years old and the youngest is about 2-3 maybe? HAH! i was totally like in a training of being a mother. konon! jauh lg la kan. tp ok la, even penat gak la, bgn pg buat sarapan diorg gi sekolah, msk lunch, suap mkn, kemas umah, sidai kain, and bla3, tp aku still ade mase tok online, tgk tv. ku rase, kalau aku jd suri rumah nnt, aku sebenarnye byk masa tok melakukan aktiviti2 yg berfaedah. hurm. pk2 jap. tp kalau keje x la kot. last nite one of my nephew demam plak, muntah2. kesian. even terpaksa bgn kol 2.30 pg, aku sabarkan juga. pergh! penyabar gak aku ni rupe nye. :p

last weekend, my fiancee gi kursus kahwin and he was so very excited. setiap kali die balik i will ask and he will tell me what he learn from the course. ok la, hujung2 tu ade gak la gaduh2 manja sket. haha. and starting from that very day, beriya2 die suruh aku plak pergi cepat2. haha. insyaALLAH. sabar ye. betol gak, kalau dikirakan, tggl 6 month je lg pon yg tggl. bkn byk sgt masa tok aku bazirkan since persiapan aku still boleh dikatakan 0%. haih. tula, selalu bertangguh. duh!

tp ape yg aku perasan perubahan encik tunang lepas gi kursus tu, he's becoming a husband that i am dreaming of, even not totally but closer to it. lebih memimpin. i like it. peoples change. may me, myself ponnnn. haha. insyaALLAH.

selamat hari raya. =D

oh my abah

Ehem2. Lame dah xmeneruskan blogging activity ni. Keinginam tu ada, tp kesempatan tu yg payah smet nak caro. Hihu. So last tuesday, hp aku yg da lama berjasa punah juga. Sob3 lama xlama jgk la. Dlm 2 thn stgh ada kot. Tp sbb pakai duit sendiro twrasa jgk la. Tp aku ada la spare another hp. Walaupun hp lg 1 tu pon da kokak la jgk, tp boleh la nak pakai. Tp da tentu la 1 no aku da xpakai sbb hp tggl 1. Habis nangis la scandal aku yg laen. Poyo je. Yg 1 pon xterjaga. Miahaha.

Nak dijadikan cerita abah sayu kot tgk, aku da ckp byk kali xpayah, tp abah atas dasar kasih sayangnya kat aku pon belikan aku another hp sebijik mcm adik aku. I was thinking about wonder. Tp abah da belikan yg mini pon da ok sgt dah. Free kot. Sape nak bg? Terima kasih abah. At least l kwn2 aku xleh da la nak gelakkan aku xde wifi la viber la and segala jadah nye. Haha. Bangga jap.

Persetankan segala apa yg org lain nak ckp. Tp aku tetap berbangga dgn pemberian ayahanda ku ini. I love u daddy. :)

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exam mode?

okay, its been long since the last update. actually i do have so many things that i really think that i would and want to share. its just....i am have what so called mim alif lam sin = rajin punye penyakit. hahaha. ok, my mom used to say that kata2 tu 1 doa, so please do pray good things.

berkaitan dgn itu, i am still in my exam week. yeah, U lain sume da habis. ok, congrats! haha. my friend and i still struggling for our paper. but actually xbape nak struggle sgt la coz i've been watching 49 days since last nite and half day of today.

the story quite slow, but the story line is different from other typical korean drama. so, ok la. acceptable la for a person yg bkn kaki korea. haha.

moral of the story yg i dpt from this drama, mcm we never know how much time left for us to be with our family, friends and lovers. just use the time wisely but in the way of still enjoying it. tp me myself yg x mempraktik kan bende tu. yes, its easier said than done. tp since when kan? since when do i need to behave like this. HE has promise us with so many good things if and only if we spend our time wisely. but still most of us terpesong. yes, including me. lol! haha.

this evening, when i was sitting alone, by myself, my mind keep on thinking of the past. korg penah x? ke penyakit aku sorg je? haih. i used to be very bad. bad in the sense of BAD. boleh dikatakan sume jenayah kanak2, remaja, sume aku buat dulu. but things change. i am trying to be better. and i use term trying coz, proses tok menjadi seseorg yg lebih baik tu xkan pernah tamat. sebab, berubah itu adalah sifat manusia. kekal itu adalah sifatNYA sahaja oke. 

i can still remember how other people used to look at me. all i can do is pray to ALLAH that sume org yg pernah teraniaya disebabkan aku, dgn serendah2 hati nya, i am sorry... 

its your past, may i be your only future.

alhamdulillah, dikurniakan sihat tubuh badan lagi hari ini. dpt tersenyum di pagi hari. hahaha. tq ALLAH. semalam yg penuh emosi, biarlah ditinggalkan begitu. heeee. cume hopefully i xkan diarah dgn sebegitu cara lagi. and sometimes, i teringat mcm mana ajar budak2 kecil bila buat salah mintak maaf, bila org buat baik, or bagi sesuatu ucap terima kasih. bak kata lecturer i semalam, kata org melayu? tinggi budi bahasa? api, kene simbah minyak...WOOOOOO~!

let go of it kinah!

ok, done! =)

his past, my past, your past, their past, its still the same,, the past. the farthest thing from us. bak kata org, berdarah manis mcm2 dugaannya. syaitan tu musuh umat islam yg nyata yg dah berjanji sejak zaman nabi adam lagi bahawa mereka akan terus menerus menggoda manusia.lagi2 dekat dgn menjadikan sesuatu yg haram itu halal, semakin byk godaannya. time iniah imah intu berfungsi! nafsu amarah itu merupakan pintu kepada syaitan untuk masuk ke dalam diri manusia ini. makanya? jgn marah? kita bkn malaikat, tp apa yg kita perlu buat? sabar, solat dan doa. itu tipsnya. hahaha. amalkan x? in progress. hehehe. xpelah! yg penting ada usaha kan?

semalam, lepas tgk bende2 yg xpatut itu, syaitan terus menyelinap masuk ke dalam diri ni, mula lah rasa sedih yg gile2 sedih, marah yg giler2 marah. jadi? tros tdo, niat maafkan sume org, meletakkan akal sebagai raja dan bukan hati. alhamdulillah, hopefully today will be a better yesterday again! =)

*p/s: abi, i am so very sorry. hahahaha!

sape xmakan cili, xkan rasa pedasnye...

owh! minggu yg sumpah memenatkan giler bab! ya ALLAH, tggl sehari, tp peritnye... hati dah lame kat umah. sejak last wiken lg kot. sbb my lovely mom dtg Banting itu hari. sbb konon2 byk sgt test, i x pegi. konon2 alasan wiken ni da nak balik umah 4 our mid sem break. apakandaya...

mcm biasalah! bekal ibu n abah xpenah miss. terima kasih ibu n abah! love byk3! kasih x terhingga! =D

hand made food from my mama! terima kasih ibu!

mcm tu la dr sekecik tapak tgn sampai la i da sebesar padang bola ni haaaa...ibu sentiasa akan bwkkan bekal. even abang n kakak i yg dah kawen, da ade anak berderet pon setiap kali nak balik ke rumah mereka, or ble2 ibu nak gi ke rumah mereka, mesti ade je yg ibu bwkkan! time kat asrama MRSM dulu, slalu la setiap wiken akan ade habuan tok roomate n floormate. heeee. skrang, setiap kali nak balikje mesti ibu siapkan sekali tok housemate yg lain. dok la hai pk kawan2 suke ape. tp anak nye cume i sorg je dlm umah ni. hurm. mcm tu la. kasih ibu n abah xterhingga. sampai kawan2 i sume dpt. hurm *jeles* :p

xsabar nak tggu esok! habis je segala urusan esok, aku vrrrooooooooooommm! tros nak ke TBS beli tiket bas! hahahaha! mcm main explorace plak! tp teramat sgt xsabar! urggghhhh!

so, beberapa hari ni, i dok la memasak ntah pape tok habiskan segala khazanah kat dalam peti ais tu haaaa.. last sekali tggl udang. xde bawang, xde cili, ikan bilis tggl bpe eko je. nak masak ape? last2 gi la hai menagih bawang kat jiran sebelah cik ana. habiskan kentang, plak, bapak banyak giler cekodok kentang yg jadi? rezeki jiran sebelah. tp kesian la diorg sbb rupe bentuk die dah sgt distorted sbb i was so very penat td. hahahaha. atie juara makan cekodok kentang! she is the first person to eat, samapai i dah nak habis goreng 1 tupperware adunan yg sgt besar tu pon she's still eating it. lol! 

udang plak, aku habiskan dgn jadi nasi goreng yg pelik rasanye sbb xde cili padi. tp diorg sume ckp ok je. mungkin sbb aku je yg makan cili dgn excessivenye. hahahaha

alifah sgt trauma dgn masakan i sbb die akan sentiasa rasa pedas. even in this fried rice. walaupon xde sebiji cili pon yg dimasukkan. hahaha! maaf alifah! :p

tetibe terduduk n terbayang kehidupan di rumah bersama suami n mentua yg masak meme xdop pakai kari. (bakal mother in law org kelantan). so i tros. i'm gonna miss my mom even more. =(

but that's the risk yg kte kene ambik once we decided to get married. you are not just married to your beloved hubby but also to his family. i know the risk, and i am learning to accept the truth. insyaALLAH. 

pray for my best. insyaALLAH, 'everything's gonna be oke' (abi punye favorite line! :p)

If something makes you more upset than happy, then they aren't worth your time.

i'm stressed out last week. ramai (lebih dr sorg according to my aunty, means byk :p) ramai gler yg terserempak dgn i simply says

"eh! kina da nikah ke? ckp btol2! da nikah eh?" 
i was like...
"eh! blom laaa...next year insyaALLAH..kenape?" 
then she simply reply to me "owh...nape chubby sgt? nnt jgn lupe jemput tau!" 


 then, i tros...ok, diam n straightly jalan ke hadapan....

gain weight. arggghhhhh! the one thing yg sgt lah i xsuke! yes, meniaki tgga berat badan tu mudah, xpenat pon, boleh dibuat dgn suke hatinye... hahahaha... tp tang nak turun tu....haih...T.T

so, currently, sedang berusaha. sejauh mana keberkesanannye. hahahaha. tp, nak sihat punye pasal..selain drp tu sbb towards that very day, mestilah lebih3 lg nak jaga. org slalu ckp

nnt diet giler3 b4 kawen, lepas kawen tros zaaaaappppp! besar!


for certain case it might be true. but i know my body better lah kan? so, i am having problem with my metabolic rate. it can be categorized low. hahaha. xpe la. ALLAH knows the best. HE will give me what i need, not what i want. kan? so, alhamdulillah. i am so very healthy if to be compared to some people. so, what i need to do right now is to take a good care of it. insyaALLAH. to be skinny is not my aim. my main objective is to be healthy! bring back my BMI into normal range. daaaahhhh! kantoi dah overweight! hahaha. no lah! but really2 almost overweight!

so, what did i do? i try my best not to eat any medicaation coz i love my kidney. heeee~

first thing first, i start to control my calorie intake. so, sometimes its quite tiring to look at the food that you really love to eat but you are unable to eat it coz it covers too much calories of the day. T.T so, xtau nak buat ape sbb slalu sgt lari dr landasan nih! hahahaha! xpe2, keep on trying! =)

secondly, workout! i love to this! since my housemate used to say that i am having low limb obesity. hahahaha. not funny oke. its the truth! 2 dimension in one body! hahaha. so, my workout particularly to reduce the obesity of my lower limb, and of course to boost up my metabolic rate! insyaALLAH. based on my reading, it might help. hahaha. usaha! itu yg penting! but i enjoy it. really!=)

so, who wanna join me? tomorrow? why not today? right now? right this second? keep on delaying good thing again? haih... go and change!

cut the fat! lets be healthy! =)

i miss the moment when we were together

alhamdulillah...another day in this earth...

doing my silly job again. blog walking. weee~

i am attracted to read my kaunselor punye blog. bese bace tp xtgk la tepi2 tu kan. hari ni tergerak nak tgk n, perasan lah beberapa nama yg i kenal di bhg other blog. surprisingly, ramai yg ade blog dalam kalangan kawan2 lama! wow! (ko igt ko da advance sgt? hahaha)

impressed dgn achievement mereka. ramai yg ke luar negara. alhamdulillah. me? i 100% xmenyalah kan sesiapa atas sbb keadaan i skrang. sbb ALLAH dah janji, apa yg kte usahakan tu, itu lah yg kte akan dapat. so, sekarang i am right here coz this is where i belong. alhamdulillah.

being gifted kalau xgunakan wisely pon nak buat ape kan? ramai je kawan2 yg dulu mcm biasa2 skrang dah jauh ke hadapan. alhamdulillah. bangga dgn mereka. for me, i am a typical melayu kot. hahahaha. bak kata Tun Dr. Mahathir dulu, "melayu mudah lupa." and yes, it suits me a lot. hahahaha.

ade blog best friend lama skrang dah kat Jepun, ketua homeroom yg dulu skrang dah kat UK, kawan sebelah kelas yg sekarang da sambung PhD, senior atas aku yg sgt aktif, classmate lame yg skrang dah nak jd lecturer pon! tahniah! n ade gak yg da nak abes n jd lawyer. mcm2 lagi lah! tahniah ye u ollllllzzzzzzz...:p

as for me? let me keep it to myself. hahahaha

if and only if the time can be reverse, i really2 would like to go back to my schooldays. i waste most of my time when i was there. but sedar sket kinah! "bende paling jauh daripada kite tu adalah masa lalu"


sbb tu skrang, aku masih mencuba dan mencuba. gagal selalu, berjaya sekali sekala. tp berdasarkan ade scientist lame tu ckp, aku punye ayat pon jadi begini " i xrase i gagal byk kali, i cume discover ade byk cara n sbb yg boleh menyebabkan i kegagalan" hahaha. ayat nak sedap kan? tp kadang2, ble time2 down ni la kata2 semangat tu perlu. mengadu padaNYA, pada masa yg sama, cari inisitif tok recover. insyaALLAH...

still sampai sekarang, senyuman tu masih boleh terukir di bibir ni sbb i believe in HIS promises. insyaALLAH. =)

*present day...=)*

nothing last forever

yes, i am a stranger

but!

F.Y.I

i never brag for being engaged to somebody

i did judge people based on how they behave

some of them did hurt me

sometimes a lot

sometimes just 'like i care?'

sometimes the way u act hurt me a lot

i am impressed with u

u are able to keep your ego low down to earth towards somebody like that

but keep it as high as the sky when you are with me, or with any other of us

*yes, i kecik ati*

but!

strength need to be build 

just remember, one day

when you stop listening i will surely stop caring

tq