sometimes, i wonder how perfect is perfect?
sometimes, i wonder, how great is great?
sometimes, i wonder, how strong is strong?
sometimes i wonder, how smart is smart?
sometimes i wonder, how brave is brave?
but now, i can finally understand the true meaning of it relies on the person who is judging it. we were created to be different from others. different by means physically and mentally (the way we think of something). it is totally subjective! we are the one who sets the benchmark of how _____ is _____. so, if that person is unable to meet your criterion, don't hate them coz you too might be hated by somebody eases somewhere in this world due to your inadequacy in filling in that somebody's standard.
it is a very famous phrase. very famous until it turns out to be easier said than done. simple sentence with a lot of meaningful thought inside of it. have u ever be in my situation when u adore somebody, u tends to follow what are they wearing, what are they doing, how they walk, and etc... and at some point u are tired of trying to be that person because you really are not that person! deep down inside yourself there must be the real YOU. in my case, i am still searching and looking for ME. :)
i hate myself for being helpless
i hate myself for being hopeless
i hate myself for being weak
honestly, i am so very tired of the feeling of getting that kinda look mcm, ok, you can't do anything, you just follow what I ask you to be. it's so very tiring. the acting. hopefully, that one fine day i can stand on my two feet without anybody's help, without having anybody asking me to do what is right for them and totally wrong for me. i am still waiting for that one fine day to come.
i can totally live my life happily before you came, and should i change that after you're here? i am done with the tries to impress you. i am now doing things because i wanted to do it. because i love it. no more because of you.